Eat your heart out, darling.

climbeveryfireescape:

chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:Hey MomI’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.Love,Your Son.A couple days later he got a response from his mother:Dear Son,I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.When are the two of you coming for dinner?Love,Mom

BEST MOM

I’m crYING

OMG HAHAHAHA

184,746 notes

barbies-not-even-perfect:

Every time I see this picture I like get taken aback because it literally looks like just a normal party

marble sculptures are one of the most beautiful things i’ve ever seen i mean

that’s stone and someone made it look transparent

do you see that fabric?

do you see that fluffy pillow?

do you see that anatomy and those humans muscles?

no you do not because that’s all fucking marble

(Source: ianbboner, via foodismynigga)

I just want to be happy and all these negative people in my life are just awful. Quit wallowing in every bad thing that happens and learn to let things go. If you spend the majority of your time being pissed about the things that go wrong, then you will lose out on the opportunity to make things right. Ughhhhh I refuse to let other people’s attitudes get in the way of my happiness.

(via foodismynigga)